Thursday, April 26, 2007
It's Getting Worse?
Okay, I'm not sure what the deal is, but as time has gone on things seem to be getting worse. It all started Sunday night after eating a few snacks and then eating a few more. I was DYING for a cigarette. I hadn't felt an urge like this all last week and this week isn't a whole heckuva lot better. I would've assumed that as I smoked less, my body would want it less. It doesn't appear that's the case, but I'm not wondering if it's not because of one certain thing.
My landlord is out of town this week and if he catches me smoking while on Chantix, I'll never hear the end of it. The girls in his office are smokers and know that I've quit and they'd blow me a bunch of shit also. And then there are the two Subway employees who just recently quit - one with Chantix. All in all, those people kind of keep me in check and give me no room to go sneak a smoke. Well this week the landlord has been out of town and today (Thursday) the entire office up front is gone. Which means I have the entire building (almost) to go sneak a smoke in when I want. Any of us that started smoking in our teens can relate to those days gone by when mom and/or dad would leave and it was time to smoke. It was such a rush to be doing such a bad thing. It was almost rebel like. And here I am a grown man and I want that rush of cheating and getting away with it. Now how fucking stupid is that?
All in all, I have attempted cheating a few times and quite honestly cheating pisses me off. And it's not the fact that cheating means I'm failing, but I'm disappointed that my cheat doesn't taste good. Seriously - I'll go and light that bad boy up waiting for that first big "Aaaahhhh" hit and holy shit does it taste like crap! That makes me mad because cheating should taste good and "feel" good. After the second hit the cigarette is on the ground because it tastes like I'm licking the bottom of an ashtray. You would THINK that I wouldn't want to cheat again, but it's a drive that no one can experience unless they've been a smoker for a long time.
Have NOT Smoked: 250.83 Cigarettes
I've SAVED: $43.89
I've been smoke free (mostly) for: 1 Week 3 Days 10 Hours
So, until next time...
My landlord is out of town this week and if he catches me smoking while on Chantix, I'll never hear the end of it. The girls in his office are smokers and know that I've quit and they'd blow me a bunch of shit also. And then there are the two Subway employees who just recently quit - one with Chantix. All in all, those people kind of keep me in check and give me no room to go sneak a smoke. Well this week the landlord has been out of town and today (Thursday) the entire office up front is gone. Which means I have the entire building (almost) to go sneak a smoke in when I want. Any of us that started smoking in our teens can relate to those days gone by when mom and/or dad would leave and it was time to smoke. It was such a rush to be doing such a bad thing. It was almost rebel like. And here I am a grown man and I want that rush of cheating and getting away with it. Now how fucking stupid is that?
All in all, I have attempted cheating a few times and quite honestly cheating pisses me off. And it's not the fact that cheating means I'm failing, but I'm disappointed that my cheat doesn't taste good. Seriously - I'll go and light that bad boy up waiting for that first big "Aaaahhhh" hit and holy shit does it taste like crap! That makes me mad because cheating should taste good and "feel" good. After the second hit the cigarette is on the ground because it tastes like I'm licking the bottom of an ashtray. You would THINK that I wouldn't want to cheat again, but it's a drive that no one can experience unless they've been a smoker for a long time.
Have NOT Smoked: 250.83 Cigarettes
I've SAVED: $43.89
I've been smoke free (mostly) for: 1 Week 3 Days 10 Hours
So, until next time...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Just for fun
I know I've already posted once today, but I didn't want to clutter up that post with this little things I figured out.
In the previous post I mentioned that I am already eating a ton more food? Well, Sarah and I figured up just how many calories I took in yesterday alone. Would you believe I had over 4,500 calories from breakfast until I went to bed? Holy shit that's a bunch of calories! LOL
Today (Tuesday) I got my daily email from Chantix and in the email it talks about quitting not only the habit of absorbing nicotine into your body, but also the basic habit of just smoking itself. And they give an example that is quite interesting. If I've done my math correctly, here's how it would all work out.
EXAMPLE
Let's say you're an average smoker of 1 pack a day which holds 20 cigarettes. You're taking x-amount of puffs per cigarette 20 times a day and now you're not doing it at all. That's a major factor of the habit.
Here is my math/facts:
23 cigarettes a day on average = 8,395 cigarettes a year (23x365)
9 puffs on average per cigarette (for me) = 207 puffs per DAY x 365 days = 75,555 a year.
So I use to do something 207 times a day and now I don't do it at all. Quite honestly, it's almost like trying not to blink as much during a day. I dare ya, try and not to blink more than 5 times in the next hour. Hell, try not to blink in the next 5 minutes. That's what it feels like. Shit, I just blinked. :o )
Until next time...
In the previous post I mentioned that I am already eating a ton more food? Well, Sarah and I figured up just how many calories I took in yesterday alone. Would you believe I had over 4,500 calories from breakfast until I went to bed? Holy shit that's a bunch of calories! LOL
Today (Tuesday) I got my daily email from Chantix and in the email it talks about quitting not only the habit of absorbing nicotine into your body, but also the basic habit of just smoking itself. And they give an example that is quite interesting. If I've done my math correctly, here's how it would all work out.
EXAMPLE
Let's say you're an average smoker of 1 pack a day which holds 20 cigarettes. You're taking x-amount of puffs per cigarette 20 times a day and now you're not doing it at all. That's a major factor of the habit.
Here is my math/facts:
23 cigarettes a day on average = 8,395 cigarettes a year (23x365)
9 puffs on average per cigarette (for me) = 207 puffs per DAY x 365 days = 75,555 a year.
So I use to do something 207 times a day and now I don't do it at all. Quite honestly, it's almost like trying not to blink as much during a day. I dare ya, try and not to blink more than 5 times in the next hour. Hell, try not to blink in the next 5 minutes. That's what it feels like. Shit, I just blinked. :o )
Until next time...
Woo wee, it's hard...
So yesterday, April 16th was my first "official" day to get-quit. It wasn't too long after jumping out of bed that I realized I was in for a real battle. You see, as a smoker and part of my habit with smoking is to do the following in the morning:
1.) Eat breakfast.
2.) Put dishes away.
3.) Light up smoke.
4.) Watch T.V.
Obviously one of those steps has been eliminated and I about shit my pants. I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what do non-smokers do with their hands after they eat!?" I jumped in the shower and headed off to a meeting with a client. I was quite proud of myself because I drove all the way to Fort Wayne without a smoke. Trust me people, that's a triumph in of itself.
But, then it happened - I slipped. After a HUGE breakfast, I jumped in the truck and the next thing I knew I smoked 3/4ths of a cigarette.
After having lunch with the wife, who by the way I might mention is being extremely supportive, I was fine with not smoking. The rest of the day went very smooth until about 4:00 p.m. after meeting with another client. I haven't a clue what the trigger was, but boy oh boy was I hurting for one. So for the next two hours I just fought and fought and fought.
Dinner was ready when I got home and now I can see why people gain weight when they quit smoking. To curb my desire to put a cigarette in my mouth, I instead put more food. So much so that we (the wife and I) estimated I took in about 1,020 calories just at dinner. Holy shit, I just might not be a twig someday!
The remainder of the evening wasn't too bad, but near the end of the night before bed I was craving yet another smoke. I'm happy to report I fought off the urge and woke up this morning and started all over.
This morning wasn't as bad, but wasn't 100% better. The drive to work and the first hour before the med's kicked in was a bit of a fight, but I'm not doing to bad this afternoon.
So, as of this very moment (Tuesday, April 17th) I have:
- NOT smoked 35.30 cigarettes
- SAVED $6.18
- And have been smoke free for 1 day, 11 hours & 19 minutes
Until next time...
1.) Eat breakfast.
2.) Put dishes away.
3.) Light up smoke.
4.) Watch T.V.
Obviously one of those steps has been eliminated and I about shit my pants. I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what do non-smokers do with their hands after they eat!?" I jumped in the shower and headed off to a meeting with a client. I was quite proud of myself because I drove all the way to Fort Wayne without a smoke. Trust me people, that's a triumph in of itself.
But, then it happened - I slipped. After a HUGE breakfast, I jumped in the truck and the next thing I knew I smoked 3/4ths of a cigarette.
After having lunch with the wife, who by the way I might mention is being extremely supportive, I was fine with not smoking. The rest of the day went very smooth until about 4:00 p.m. after meeting with another client. I haven't a clue what the trigger was, but boy oh boy was I hurting for one. So for the next two hours I just fought and fought and fought.
Dinner was ready when I got home and now I can see why people gain weight when they quit smoking. To curb my desire to put a cigarette in my mouth, I instead put more food. So much so that we (the wife and I) estimated I took in about 1,020 calories just at dinner. Holy shit, I just might not be a twig someday!
The remainder of the evening wasn't too bad, but near the end of the night before bed I was craving yet another smoke. I'm happy to report I fought off the urge and woke up this morning and started all over.
This morning wasn't as bad, but wasn't 100% better. The drive to work and the first hour before the med's kicked in was a bit of a fight, but I'm not doing to bad this afternoon.
So, as of this very moment (Tuesday, April 17th) I have:
- NOT smoked 35.30 cigarettes
- SAVED $6.18
- And have been smoke free for 1 day, 11 hours & 19 minutes
Until next time...
Monday, April 09, 2007
Today is the day
Well, here I am, April 9th 2007 and the quit has begun. No, I can't say that I'm 100% quit right now, but I'm on the Chantix and already fighting urges. It's strange, because the more I think about not wanting a cigarette, the more tempting the urge seems. Either way, it doesn't matter because I AM going to quit.
I've also installed this little add-on for my browser that keeps track of my months, weeks, days, hours and money I've saved. All I have to do is scroll over the little icon and it reminds me of where I am. Interesting how technology can actually help us mentally isn't it?
That's it for now. Need to chug some water. Not sure if the Chantix is already giving me the belly ache or I shouldn't have ate those nachos at midnight last night. ;o )
I've also installed this little add-on for my browser that keeps track of my months, weeks, days, hours and money I've saved. All I have to do is scroll over the little icon and it reminds me of where I am. Interesting how technology can actually help us mentally isn't it?
That's it for now. Need to chug some water. Not sure if the Chantix is already giving me the belly ache or I shouldn't have ate those nachos at midnight last night. ;o )
